By Simon Rich
In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon wealthy reveals humor in a few very astounding areas. Armed with a pointy eye for the absurd and an overpowering feel of doom, wealthy explores the ridiculousness of our daily lives. the area, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with never-ending comedian potential.
–If your female friend can provide a few “love coupons” after which breaks up with you, are the coupons nonetheless valid?
–What type of functionality strain does an endangered male panda believe while his captors convey the final ultimate lady panda to his cage?
–If murderers can get into heaven by way of accepting Jesus, simply how awkward is it after they run into their victims?
Join Simon wealthy as he explores the extreme and hilarious desperation that is living in traditional existence, from cradle to grave.
"Hilarious." –Jon Stewart
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Extra resources for Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations
Pen pal In seventh grade, everyone in my class was assigned a foreign pen pal. Mine was from Bulgaria, and his name was Bojidar. We exchanged letters once a month, and at the end of the year we wrote reports about each other’s countries based on what we had learned. Here is his report: LIFE IN THE USA By Bojidar Of all the boys in the United States, Simon is the most popular. Simon is especially very popular with the girls at his school. I am very lucky that I was assigned the pen pal Simon, because it turns out that he is a very important American!
I’m not going to synagogue anymore. —Okay … Please, son, I bought you these different kinds of deodorant. If you don’t like any of them, I’ll go back to the store and buy you more kinds. Hey, here’s a cool one. It’s for athletes. —I’m moving out! I’m going to live under the overpass! Some of those people fought in wars, Dad. You didn’t fight in any wars. —Okay, that’s… All that’s fine. Please put this on, son. You … you carry my name. what goes through my mind when i’m home alone (from my mom’s perspective) Hmm, Mom left me home alone.
This is the worst day of my life. V jesus JESUS: Love each other, for love conquers all. THOMAS: Praise the Lord! JESUS: If someone attacks you, turn the other cheek. THOMAS: Praise the Lord! JESUS: Eat my body and my blood. THOMAS: Praise the—Wait. What was that last thing? JESUS: Eat my body and my blood. THOMAS: You mean … symbolically? JESUS: No. THOMAS: Oh. JESUS: Honor thy father and thy mother. THOMAS: Wait, hold on. Can we talk about that other thing for a second? JESUS: What other thing?
Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations by Simon Rich